When I have particularly bad days and the dementors are more eager to feed off of me more than usual, negative thoughts and words sink in and go up, up, up towards my storm clouded mind, until I start believing in them, overruling what I know in my mind to be true.
Sometimes, there is an attempt to vent these feelings to other people, but I try to exercise caution when doing so, because I know I will only be told to get my head out of my ass, and that there are people having worse problems. And I know there are. Oh, yes, do I know. And it is unfair that I am being compared to them because I certainly do not hold a candle to what these people are going through. That, however, does not make my feelings irrelevant. While I do have people (sometimes in the form of childhood friends, sometimes in the form of internet strangers) willing to listen, at the back of my mind, I think that I am bothering them with my inane problems, adding it to the daily stresses they have to deal with, hence, I just mostly keep myself to myself.
I suck at endings. I’ll leave it here until the next entry, which I hope will be eons happier than this one. You win tonight, dementors.